How to Deal with People Having Sex in Your Gender-Specific Hostel Dorm Room

When I was in Siquijor last January, the Taiwanese girl I met at the hostel shared to me hostel horror stories she personally experienced. It’s not one that involves ghosts. It’s people having sex in the hostel dorm room. During my six weeks backpacking trip to some parts of Southeast Asia, I always stayed in hostels. I was very lucky I never got to experience one. Not until last week when I was in Boracay for my best friend’s wedding. I was to share a private room with my friend but because she was arriving a day later, I booked in a female dorm for my first night. So what do you do when someone’s having sex in your hostel room?

Some might say that’s what you get for not wanting to spend much on accommodation. And that’s what I had in my mind too when I was awakened by my roommate’s moaning. It was past 1 in the morning. I slept really early that night because I had very little sleep the night before preparing my stuff for the trip. I was sleeping soundly until I heard that sound. And then I figured out someone’s having sex in the room. I was on the top bunk on the inner part of the room. I had no way of seeing what was going on. But I could hear everything. It was like listening to live porn.

My bed

I felt very awkward. And I didn’t do anything. I just kept silent until they finished. Then they started fighting. I couldn’t hear everything clearly, but I figured it was because the guy didn’t use protection. Then both left the room. I was extremely shocked by everything that happened, I don’t remember how I was able to get back to sleep.

The Morning After

When I woke up in the morning, I felt like I was traumatized. I couldn’t get it off my head even when I tried to distract myself at the beach. And I wanted so much to report it to the hostel management but I didn’t know how to tell them. I thought that they couldn’t do anything about it because it is beyond their control. So I didn’t tell them.

But because I already checked out of the female dorm to move to a private room, I received a standard email from the hostel asking me about my experience and if there is something they could improve. That’s when I asked people from a female travel group on Facebook if it will be worth telling the hostel about it. They all said that I should, and so later that night I reported the incident through email.



Booking.com

What You Should Do When This Happens To You

If you ever experience this, report them to the hostel management. This thing I should have done immediately. But because I thought that it is already beyond the hostel management’s control, I didn’t report it to them right away. I thought that it’s what I get for staying in a dorm room rather than a private room. But when the hostel staff talked to me after receiving my email she told me I had all the right to report such activity. Our room is a room for girls only. Guys shouldn’t be getting inside the room. It is a security issue and had I done it immediately and personally, both would have been kicked out of the hostel.

Unfortunately, because I reported it through email, that mail went to the general manager of the hostel chain. By the time it was forwarded to the person in charge of the hostel in Boracay, the girl had already checked out. The manager personally talked to me and apologized as soon as she received the email. She said they reviewed the CCTV footage and they were able to identify who the couple was. The guy hasn’t checked out yet and they’re kicking him out for violating hostel rules. She also explained that normally a security guard watches over the hallway so things like this don’t happen. However, they must have sneaked in when the guard left his post. She assured me that they will improve their security measures so that this doesn’t happen again.

Other things you can do if you’re feeling gutsy:

  • Confront the two and tell them to do it in a private room. Tell them that people are trying to sleep and it’s an all-girls dorm. Guys aren’t supposed to be inside the room.

  • Turn on the lights and make some noise. This is to let them know that someone else is in the room. And hopefully, they will get back to their senses and leave. If they still go on with the deed, go to the reception and report them.

  • Watch. Free live porn! Hahaha just kidding.

To be honest, I love staying in hostels. I met wonderful people in hostels. Until now, I still talk to some of them. I hope you don’t get scared of staying in one just because of this experience I had. I wrote this to inform you of your rights and so that you know what to do in case you experience this too. We shouldn’t be ashamed and feel awkward to report incidents like this. It is our right having booked a gender-specific room, which is more expensive than the mixed ones.

* Disclaimer: Some of the links in this post are affiliate links and if you go through them to make a purchase I will earn a commission. Keep in mind that I link these companies and their products because of their quality and not because of the commission I receive from your purchases. The decision is yours, and whether or not you decide to book something is completely up to you. Using my links costs you nothing extra and will help in maintaining this blog. Thanks for your support!

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